I haven’t written a blog post in weeks now because mentally and physically this pregnancy just exhausted me. I’ve wanted to blog but the topics and words just couldn’t couldn’t appear for me. I’m 39 weeks pregnant and no one, including my doctors, thought I would make it this far into my pregnancy.
Yes, I should be happy and ecstatic that I officially went full term with Evelynne but it has come at a price. At 34 weeks, I was 1 cm dilated and at 35 weeks, I progressed to 2cm dilated. The contractions were coming on stronger by the day. This meant the baby should be coming any day right? I’ve been sitting, not so pretty, at 2cm with strong contractions for about a month now.
Also, for over a month now, I’ve been back to getting sick every time I eat which leaves me with no energy at all. I have tried every trick I could find or someone suggested to get my labor started again but nothing has worked.
Everyone keeps asking when she is going to be here but I have no idea. The doctors are content with letting me go until 41/42 weeks but I need my body back. Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby girl and want her to be healthy but I question how healthy she can be when I can’t eat and hold anything down? My doctors don’t seem to be concerned when I questioned them about it.
Another crazy thing was when I asked about being induced this past Tuesday (38 weeks 3 days), the nurse practitioner told me that they would need to do an amniocentesis to check her lung maturity…. what the actual *^%#?? I’ve never heard that and just watch over 50 women in my baby mama group give birth early, some being induced and not one of them had this occur or suggested! Now I’m just frustrated as h^**!
I know she will get here on her own schedule but I would just like to eat again… and not get sick!
Add the baby stress to the holiday stress and life stress and I am a mess. I will have a new post about my 2018 goals on January so please tune back in!
I can’t even believe that we have 5 weeks or less to go until Evelynne is here! According to the Ovia app, at 35 weeks the baby is the size of a mini lop bunny rabbit. It is funny because that is the type of bunny we adopted for Danyella over the summer. So the baby is as big as the bunny… just not as furry!
This past week we got to go on the hospital tour of the where we are giving birth. This hospital was so beautiful and pristine and clean! I loved it from the moment we walked in and saw a Starbucks cafe in the lobby. Yes, I will be sending Doug down to get me Starbucks after I give birth because I love my Starbucks!
We began with learning about their security system which I am not a fan of anyone being able to register to come up to the floor as long as they have an ID. I like the system that my previous hospitals had where there was a list of people allowed. No offense but I don’t want everything thinking they can come visit when I want that time alone with the baby before I go home.
The next stop on our tour was the sibling daycare they provide for free. It is open Monday-Friday during the day for when the siblings visit and get to antsy to sit there while the adults are holding or looking at the baby. You know young kids, they don’t want to sit still and Mom can’t really deal with caring for the older kids after just popping out a watermelon. I love this feature because even Danyella would enjoy it with the tvs and video games they have for activities. Only downfall is that if I have the baby on a Friday, I will be out by Sunday so Danyella wouldn’t be able to use it.
Now we get to the fun part….. Labor and Delivery floor! In the past, I was in a room that was labor, delivery and postpartum but this hospital has L&D on one floor and Baby and Mom on the next floor above. This floor has a triage to make sure that labor is active or to determine if the mom needs to be admitted for other reasons. There is one hallway for Perinatal moms that need to stay in the hospital for numerous complications like high blood pressure or gestational diabetes that need to be monitored.
The L&D room is so big and spacious and just lovely. There were so many things that I can’t wait to enjoy while I give labor like the shower with a seat in it. They offer birthing balls to help with labor which I didn’t know was a thing until this pregnancy. They encourage the use of aromatherapy or any other things to aid in keeping mom calm. The TVs are smart TVs so I can play my relaxation music through that and not have to worry about using my phone and ear buds. Another cool feature is the charging station with preset charging ends so if I forget to throw my cord in my bag they will have one.
The nurse that was guiding the tour asked if we had birth plans ready for our deliveries. Of course I said yes because I have been revising mine for weeks. Doug looked at me shocked that I have one ready. Then I told him that it says in the first section “do not listen to my husband about a C-Section” because he supports a C-Section whereas I am opposed to one. (More about my Birth Plan next week!) Also, the nurse went on to explain that they encourage women to labor as much as possible at home which was concerning for me. At my appointment on Wednesday, I spoke to my OB about this and we both agreed that it wouldn’t be a good idea for me because I labor quickly especially with Danyella where I went from 3 cm dilated to my water breaking and her head crowning in very little time. As the OB said , he doesn’t want to hear about me having a home birth or giving birth in a car. Glad we are on the same page then.
Last on the tour was the Baby and Mommy floor. The rooms were just as nice with same great features except the amazing shower. This floor just has a small shower without a seat. Dad or the birthing partner gets a couch that folds down to a bed which was pretty comfy to sit on. I was really impressed with their menu selection for moms for meals. I heard a couple of people say that the food was really good there and it’s not just crappy sandwiches or anything. The hospital encourages that baby stays with mom as much as possible which is a change for me because I am used to preemies in the NICU or Danyella had to be monitored in the nursery because of my Gestational Diabetes. Honestly, I was looking forward to getting some sleep before we take her home. The hospital does require to watch one parenting class a day that are featured on their hospital network. I am good with that because we all could use refresher on parenting a newborn.
Overall, the tour was reassuring and made me feel more prepared for the birthing experience. At the same time, I am scared as H*** about giving birth again and the unknown that each labor and delivery experience brings to a mom. My hope is to have Evelynne before Christmas so that we can enjoy Christmas as a family and not have to worry about going into labor and missing Christmas with my family.
Let’s start out talking about what does this little baby need vs Mommy wants when they come home? This has been a HUGE topic of discussion in my Baby Mamas group because most of us are on a tight budget and can’t afford the top of the line products or every cool product out there. Plus there are some, like us, that will not be setting up a designated nursery for the baby because either there isn’t space or isn’t necessary for a tiny human.
Like I mentioned above, we will not be setting up a nursery for Baby Evelynne because I just don’t see it necessary in the beginning for so many reasons. The biggest reason is that I will be breastfeeding and if she is anything like Danyella, she will be up every 3 hours like clockwork. Our bed is not big enough for one of those co-sleepers so my mom bought us the Pack N Play that I had picked out. I am in love with this Pack N Play From Graco called Cuddle Cove because it has the bassinet part, changing table and removable baby vibrating seat. That is 3 things off my list in one!
Being my 4th kid, I am not concerned about having a designated area for changing the baby because you learn to change the baby any where you can find space. On the other hand, a seat or swing is something that is key to my needs. Danyella wouldn’t and couldn’t be soothed without her vibrating seat and they were not as comfy then as they are now.
The next obvious baby need is a car seat and preferably one with a stroller because you want the ease to click and roll with the baby once you take the baby out of the house. There are soooo many different brands, options and price ranges to choose from which will be a future post trust me! I have yet to purchase this because I don’t know where to start now.
Home essentials for the baby that may feel logical but as a mom with pregnancy brain, I don’t always think about when I am searching through the sale racks at the stores…. Bottles, extra nipples, bottle warmer, bottle cleaner and rack. Not all babies like all bottles so I suggest getting a sampling of different ones until you find the one that baby loves the most. One easy way to do this is take advantage of the free baby boxes because each one features different types of bottles. If you are breastfeeding, bottles are still handy to have because you can pump and let dad feed the baby to give a break to shower.
Onto breastfeeding, you will want a breast pump because it will help make your life a lot easier at times to let others feed the baby or relieve some of the pressure if the baby doesn’t eat enough and you become engorged (another post for another time). Also, you will want nursing bras, pads and ointment for making breastfeeding an enjoyable experience for both you and baby.
Blankets, blankets, blankets. You will want warm blankets, receiving blankets, swaddling blankets and burp clothes. Different varieties of blankets aid your baby and your needs in different ways. Some are for when they fall asleep in the vibrating chair and you want to keep them warm while you watch your angel sleep. Some of these are swaddling blankets because most (not Danyella) babies love to be swaddled and feel safe. Some are just for cleaning up messes because babies are just messy.
To make carrying baby around the house a lot easier and comfortable for you, get a baby carrier. Whether it is sling, wrap or soft structured carrier, baby will love being close to mommy or daddy and it will help you get things done around the house like dishes and laundry.
Bathtime fun will need a tub or sling plus towels, wash clothes, baby soap and lotion. You want to keep baby safe but clean with baby soap so be sure to watch for any reactions baby might have to a soap or lotion.
Now for clothing… Some of this will depend on the weather of your area! You will want onesies. Not just the cute ones with sayings or animals but the plain ones for when they are messy. Bodysuits are great for when you take baby out especially in cold weather. Baby gowns were my best friend when baby first came home because it as so much easier to change them and clean their belly button. (yes there are gowns for boys too!) Shirts, pants, shorts, dresses (depending on your weather and preference) in a variety of sizes from newborn to 3/6 months. Another baby NEED is the mittens because their nails grow fast and babies love to scratch at their face. Bibs because babies drool and spit up and they help to save those clothes for future babies. Socks are great for the cold weather to keep their feet warm but shoes are not a necessity until they are old enough to crawl/walk. Even in the warm weather, you want to keep a hat on baby because you want to keep their warm inside because baby’s tend to get colder, easier. Sleep Sacks are something new to me but I am putting them on the list after hearing the opinions of others and online reviews.
The last obvious baby need is diapers, whether its disposable or cloth, you will want a stock up of different sizes for the first few months because babies will be born at different weights and grow at different rates. Plus, you will want wipes for those yucky diapers but you do not need a baby wipe warmer. To go with the diapers is a diaper pail! Yes you will want to save your nose with one of these.
Finally we are on to my Weekly Evelynne update… We had our bi-weekly ultrasound and so happy to report that my placenta has moved so we are currently out of the woods with placenta previa. She is breach but has time to move herself around and move does she ever. Evelynne is super active especially when she hears the dog barking like she wants to come out and play. Since I started school this week, Evelynne had her first day of classes and I was given the idea to make a sign for my art class like all the other kids get on their first day of school. Contractions come and go and her position has made breathing, especially at night, quite difficult. I am still craving salads, seafood and everything pumpkin (thank goodness it is fall again!). I am dying for sushi but california rolls are not cutting it so the countdown to sushi and wine are on!
Today was my first official day of classes that I attend at the actual college (my online classes started already)! It was scary as hell to pull into that parking lot surround my kids that were closer in age to my oldest child then to me. I swear you could feel my heart pounding out of my chest as I looked for a place to park (note to self show up earlier so I can park closer and not in the outskirts of town). Why am I so damn nervous?
The reason I am so nervous is because I was living in fear of being judged by all of these millennial that will shape the future of our lives with new technology, politics and so much more. Here I am… the old, pregnant woman taking classes among all of these young kids who are concerned about their Snaps and the latest party. How can I keep up with them?
My first class today was Speech which is something that comes pretty easily for me because of my background in theatre plus making speeches for the Homeless Shelter that I have been associated with for a few years now. I walked into class a few minutes late because with my belly I can only walk so fast from the other side of the parking lot and then up to the second floor to class. Already red in the face….
I take a seat in the front of the class because that was a close seat to the door and the other people at the table looked a little older than 18 and out of diapers. The professor keeps going and I start to feel more at ease until I look around the classroom and see all the young kids. Wow I begin to feel so so so old! There are a few of us older people though I think I am the oldest out of 24 and definitely the only pregnant one.
The first video we watch is about how we need to have self-confidence in ourselves and about our character. It was a wonderful video and one that I needed right in that moment. I needed to get past my fear of these kids in my classes because I would be spending 3 hours a week for the next 14 weeks with them plus I was going to have to get up in front of the class and talk to them.
I am thankful for being able to take this opportunity to get past my fear of these millennial and take courses that will help me not just in my career but in my everyday life. When I am at work or on stage, I don’t think twice about what I need to do or say but getting up in front of these kids gives me massive anxiety but I am thankful that I will work on getting past my fear this semester. I might be old and I might be pregnant but I want to further my education and life which is worth every single moment of fear and anxiety.