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Write It Out: Put Your Feelings on Paper

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Have you ever gotten to a point in your life that you have kept so much bottled up inside that you feel like a volcano ready to explode? Maybe the person you need to talk to is not around to express your feelings? Do you feel like you have no one to talk to about what is going on in your life? There are more than one reason a person holds in their feelings instead of expressing them but writing them out is a way of getting those feelings out.

Lately, I have had a lot going on in my personal life that only a few people know about. This situation has been playing over and over in my mind until I get to the point of wanting to scream my head off. Thankfully, I have had a few close friends and family to listen to me talk about this situation… over and over. I have tried to talk to the person that is involved with the situation but that is like talking to a brick wall.

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My solution to getting my feelings out without annoying the hell out of my friends and family or getting frustrated for talking to a wall… write it out! I have been journal writing since high school because a counselor suggested it as a way to express my feelings without having to talk about them. I won’t lie, I can go long periods without writing in my journal because things are either going so well that I don’t feel the need to write OR things are so bad that I am to numb to write.

When I write my out my feelings, I feel a sense of relief afterwards. Sometimes this relief is short-lived… a few hours or it can last a few days or weeks. No matter how long this relief lasts for the fact that I am able to express my feelings is the healthy aspect of living a positive life. Yes, we all have negativity in our lives whether we want it our not but it is how we handle this negativity that makes the difference in living a positive life. Journal writing helps turn those negative feelings we are dealing with into a positive way of expression.

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Journal writing can aid in keeping you connected with your mind and body aka mindfulness. It can keep your mind focused on goals that need or want to be accomplished. Taking the time to write in a journal teaches self-discipline to do a task when you feel a trigger coming that needs to be expressed. Journal writing has healing benefits for people with depression, anxiety and sleep disorders because it helps to calm the mind. This is just some of the benefits of journal writing!

 

I used to and still do love writing with a pen and paper. Just the feeling of releasing my feelings while the ink glides across the paper. Seeing those words come to life is just a magical feeling. Unfortunately, my hands do not want to cooperate with writing with a pen and paper. After a few minutes of writing, my hands end up in a lot of pain so I have started making my journal writing digital. I use google drive to make my documents because it is free and I can use it among all my devices. Like last night, I needed to write my feelings out so I was able to grab my phone, open the app and type away until I felt better.

So, whether you need a pen and paper or a computer/tablet/phone to write your feelings, it doesn’t matter as long as you write your feelings out. Good feelings, bad feelings… all feelings matter and feel great when you write them down. I encourage you to start writing today!

Writing your feelings out in a journal keeps your POSITIVE life on track. Take a few minutes to write down the good, the bad or the ugly and release it to the universe.

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Worth It Wednesday

Worth It Wednesday

In my life right now, I am focused on my self-care and working towards a positive life which means eliminating the negativity in my life. Part of that negativity are my Wednesday rant posts. As nice as it is to vent my feeling but when I started to let the venting and negativity take over my life, it was time to work taking the bad out and bring the good in. So, instead of focusing on venting on Wednesdays I am going to focus on ways to bring good things into my life and your life with Worth It Wednesday!

What does Worth It Wednesday mean?

Worth It Wednesday is all about living the life you are worth living. Finding positivity in every aspect of your life. Being grateful for what you have and what you will receive in the future. Holding yourself accountable for what how your thinking, feeling and living your life. Making the necessary changes to make your life the one you want.

My goal for my new Wednesday series is to post ways that help you live your best life. This will include different activities that could help in your journey. As well, I will feature products that will aid in your positive life journey. I am a quote lover, so there will be posts that feature quotes that will enhance your life. I am sure as my journey continues, I will have different themes and posts that I haven’t thought of yet.

I am excited to share my journey with all of you and I hope that these future posts will encourage you to live the life you are worth living because it is worth it to live your best life. Life is too short to belived counting the years.Enjoy the ride and makeamazing memories.Have a great birthday!

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Struggling With My Gratitude

Struggling with My Gratitude

With everything that has occurred this year, I have been struggling with my gratitude and thankfulness, hence the many missing Thankful Thursday posts. It has become difficult to be grateful when I am so angry at so many people and at the Universe.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for my kids and supportive family and friends through these difficult times. The problem is that I draw a blank when I think about what I am grateful for in my life. I will find something I am grateful for and then think about what I don’t have or how I got screwed out of something related to this grateful thing, and I am back to being angry again.

This mindset of anger has effected every aspect of my life where I am not striving to be the best I can be. My business has been slow going because I feel like I just run out of time to do anything. Instead of doing what I need to do, my mind wanders and before I know it I have been thinking and engrossing myself for over an hour. Poof that time I had while the baby is sleeping is now gone and I can’t get it back. The rift in my already damaged marriage is just increasing in size because if I can’t control my anger towards things then I can’t be in a good place to work on bridging the gap. Even my poor supportive friends are being neglected because I know that when I speak, all I do is spew negativity so I have just stopped talking at all. The only ones that I have tried to protect from my ungratefulness is my children because no matter what they are my main priority in life and I don’t want them to feel my anger.

This all means that I need to go back to the beginning and work on myself. I need to make working on my self care and self love a priority because dwelling on my anger is only bringing myself and everyone around me down.

My top 5 things to help me work on my self care:

  1. Write and recite daily affirmations
  2. Write 5 things I am grateful for every night, even when I am not feeling grateful
  3. Listen to/Read the Secret and my other go to self care books
  4. Write out my feelings in my journal, even if it is multiple times a day
  5. Give myself time to love myself

In the past, I have gone through these periods which were triggered by a stress factor and in the past few months since Evelynne was born there has been multiple stressors. I know I can’t beat myself up for needing to start over in my self care journey (trust me I have been beating myself up for months now) because I am only human. As humans, we will go forward and have our setbacks but that is what makes us grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

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Do you have any tips to get out of your funk and back to self care?

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Thankful for My Nail Appointments

I know that the title of this post sounds superficial but it’s not just about the beauty of my nails. It is more that once every two weeks, I get to feel like a woman. Not a Mom, not a wife… just a woman.

Every other week, I drop the girls off at my moms for a couple hours. My Christina picks me up from my moms, we grab Dunkin’ coffee and head to the nail salon.

While we wait for the salon to open and the women to set up, we enjoy our coffee and talk (what we do best lol). We both get gel manicures so we pick out our colors which I usually have a reason behind my color choice like a holiday or celebration. This week they are green for St. Patty’s Day that just passed.

In that hour of sitting while my nail color gets changed, I feel like a woman. There is no baby to feed, no tween drama, no house to clean. It’s just me in that chair getting my hands pampered.

It might not sound like it’s a big deal but to a work at home mom with an infant to care for, a tween to homeschool, a house to clean and a business to run. Just being a woman for 2 hours every other week is something I need to keep me sane.

With summer coming aka flip flop season, I’ll be adding pedicures to my bi weekly Woman time. I am thankful for the time I have to sit and feel like a woman while I get my nails painted!

What are you thankful for today?

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Creating A Vision Board #thankfulthursday

What you want in life

About 15 years ago, I was watching Oprah and she had someone on her show that was talking about living a positive life. I don’t remember who the woman was but I remember what she was saying about mind over matter and changing your thoughts will change your life hit home. At that point in my life, I was living in a dark time and needed the positive influence to change things for the better to get out of the rut.

This woman and Oprah talked about Vision Boards and how they truly helped change their lives. Essentially, it was taking things that they wanted and put it into the Universe to become a reality by seeing these things on a board. They even presented a little kid that had a vision board which helped them stay focused and achieve their school goals. I wanted this board to change my life too!

After that show, I bought a bunch of magazines and cut a piece of cardboard to start my Vision Board journey. I didn’t know what I was really doing with that first vision board but I cut out all kinds of things I wanted for my life. Things I wanted to have, a job that I wanted, clothes I wanted to wear, an apartment I wanted to live in and other things that I can’t remember at this point. I would continually add to the board as time went on and I received some of the things on my board.

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Over the past 15 years, I have created 5 Vision Boards to help my life be what I want it to be. I have added words of things I wanted to feel like beautiful and confident, things I wanted to accomplish like running my business from home, the relationship/marriage I wanted to have in my life, things that I wanted in my life like a new phone and new computer, places I wanted to travel to like Las Vegas, even the baby that I wanted in my life and so much more. These things have all come true in my life though somethings haven’t ended the way I wanted but that is why a vision board is always evolving with your life.

For the new year, I started a new vision board but never finished it because life just became difficult. I let my vision board sit there for so long. With the new year, I knew it was time to get back to my Vision Board and my positive life. What did I want to see in my life this coming year? I want the house we have been looking to buy. I want my body to feel happy and healthy. I want to have fun and enjoy life more. I want to take my kids on a vacation and so much more! I can’t wait to keep updating my Vision Board… Are you ready to start your Vision Board today?

 

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My Vision Board for the past couple of years
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The start of my Vision Board for this year
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Finding Positivity During Hard Times

I thought with the birth of my little Evelynne on New Year’s Day, that 2018 was going to be a great year…. my year. Well the trials and tribulations have just continued into this new year. So a new year doesn’t always mean a new slate, it just means adjusting your perspective and approach to those hard times that plague your life.

I am starting off this new year with having to find a new home for my family due to circumstances out of my control as a renter. I am having to make a decision that is breaking my heart about my marriage because the trust has been broken between my husband and I. I am having to make a decision about to do about going back to work and whether I want or have the heart to put my precious baby into the care of someone else. These are all changes I was not expecting to deal with 18 days into 2018…. 18 days after my little baby was born.

I won’t lie or sugar coat this at all, I have cried and cried and cried but those tears were not getting what I needed done or helping my family. My other concern about my tears is falling into post partum depression which I experienced after my first baby. PPD is not something any mother wants or should have to deal with especially if being triggered by outside circumstances.

How am I keeping the positive during these hard times? I am working on my self care. This is something I have consciously work on or I can find myself just sitting and wallowing in my sorrows for hours.

This means I am making myself get up and shower. I am making myself read and listen to my positivity books when I am sitting to pump or feed the baby. Those moments when I get down, I make myself pull out my notebook and write positive things about myself and my life. Lastly, I let myself cry when I need to cry as long as it does hinder myself from doing things I need to do for my girls and myself. (Even as I am writing this post, tears are flowing because sometimes I need to let them out).

Life isn’t always the way we want it to be but we can’t let the negativity pull us down. As a mother, I need to have the strength to be the best I can be for my children. Yes, Times will be hard and times will be sad and times will be easy and times will be happy but no matter what the times are for you… always find the positive even if it means taking the extra time to do so.

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Thankful for my Professor #thankfulthursday

The past couple of weeks I have struggled with my Thankful Thursday posts because what I am thankful for didn’t seem genuine. Yes there are material items and lots of people that I thabkful for but how do I write about these things without feeling either materialistic or generic? I was struggling big time.

I went into my speech class one day last week, which I enjoy because my professor always makes class interesting. He started the class out by talking about having passion in life and passion in what you do. I will admit that I lost some of my passion for art lately which turned into frustration and procrastination to get my projects done or even attend my studio classes. This lesson that my speech professor was giving on passion was the wake up call I needed to make a change in my college major and career.

I love art and love being an artist which means it should never be something I dread and I needed to get back to myself. I love my handmade business and have wanted to learn how to really work my business because that is my passion. So, I sat down with my professor who is the academic advisor for the business department and discussed the change I wanted to make.

After reviewing my transcripts and classes, we made a game plan to change my major to business and focus on learning the ins and outs of business. This will allow my to enjoy my art on my time and in my way. I love my art but losing my passion for it is something that’s just not acceptable to me. It has made me wonder if artists shouldn’t be art professor because pushing their own style and agenda isn’t cultivating a budding artist but instead hindering them to reach their full potential.

I am thankful for my professor that woke me up to the fact that my passion is exactly that… my passion and not someone else’s so be happy with my decisions or change them. Life lessons are taught at any age including a 35 year old adult student!

What are you thankful for today?

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My Secret to Motivation

My Secret To Motivation

As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, finding the joy in everyday living has been a struggle or better wording has taken A LOT of work from me mentally, physically and spiritually. There have been days that I don’t work on my self-care and those days have been the ones that make me realize that I need to work twice as hard the next day.

About 8 years ago, I found myself in the biggest depression of my life. I was a single mom struggling to make ends meet. We had to have a funeral for my brother who had just lost this battle to drugs. I was in a toxic relationship with an alcoholic that I felt I needed to save from himself.  I had to hold it together because that is what I do.

I don’t know how I came across the books by Louise Hay but they changed my life. Reading her books, made me realize that I held my own power over my life not my circumstances or other people. I was the one who had to take a stand with myself, for myself.

After reading 2 of her books, I was focused and working on myself everyday for about a year. Slowly, I got away from the positive habits I had worked so hard to achieve and the old, bad habits started creeping up.

About 2 years ago, I was flipping through suggestions on Netflix and The Secret came across on my list. I had no idea what the movie was about but it looked intriguing so I watched it. Wow!! The things that the people in the video said spoke to me in ways that I didn’t even know I could be reached mentally and spiritually. I looked into the book and found it on Audible.com which is my latest way to “read” books when I don’t have the time to sit and read.

I began to listen to the words over and over again. Some of the chapters I have repeated after listening to them once then over again because there is a message in there that I need to stick in my mind and soul. I was so grateful for these words.

Nearly everyday, I start my day by listening to the audio version of The Secret because I am at a point in my life that when I am stressed out I need the reminder to be set back on track. Listening to the wonderful things they have to say, the affirmations that adapt for my life and the success stories keep me motivated to keep working on myself. If I don’t work on myself then no one else will work on me and I will end up back in the deep slump I was in before and I don’t want that at all.

The great thing about having The Secret on audio book is that I can listen while I am making breakfast, taking a walk, doing laundry… just about anything and anywhere (as long as I remember my earbuds and new adapter)! Listening to other people acheive their sucesses through self care keeps me motivated to keep on going. To take the time everyday to work on myself and love myself.

My motivation for all of you on this Solar Eclipse Monday is to watch, listen or read The Secret and take the time to work on yourself even if its 5 minutes everyday…. You are worth it!

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Vision Board Challenge

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Recently, I joined a Mom Boss Bloggers Facebook Group because I want to expand my horizons and see what other mommy bloggers are posting about in their lives. I know that I haven’t been posting about my business lately but this will be changing this week because I need to get back to expanding my business. Anywho…

Another blogger is looking to feature vision boards on her blog and was looking for volunteers. I have had a vision board for the past 8 years after reading Louise Hay’s inspirational books where she tells her readers to make a board of what you want to see in your life so that the world knows what to bring to your life. I strongly believe in vision boards and how powerful they can be if you continued to grow your visions and your boards.

To me, my vision boards are a continuous work in progress because when one goal on my board is accomplished then it is time to find a new goal. Sometimes my board has been full of pictures, words, quotes and goals I have written onto the board. Since I was a teen, I have collected old magazines my grandmother would get rid of because I wanted to keep the recipes or crafts I wanted to try. Since starting my first vision board, I have been able to go through those magazines to help create my boards. Each day, I take one magazine cut out things for my board and other things that I want to keep.

My current board has been reworked over the past 2 years and some of those goals have been accomplished but some have not because I got away from my self-care and vision board. The blogger I will be working with on my new vision board requested a board having to do with positivity and how to stay positive. So this board will contain a lot of quotes, positive words and images.

This is something new because I will not be including specific goals that I want to achieve (that will be kept to my other board) but keeping to the positivity and self-care theme. I believe that things happen for a reason and that this new challenge for a vision board has come at a time where I have started my self care journey over. I cannot wait to share my new board when it is finished!

 

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Say Nice Things to Yourself

Remember when your mother taught you “if you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything at all”? As an adult, I have realized that we say the meanest of things to ourselves. The person we should lova1c8455afb3d5542cff03d053c9e788ae the most in the world, we berate, ridicule, and mentally/verbally abuse the most… Ourselves!

I learned that I did this to myself about 9 years ago when I started reading Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life” where she blatently tells her readers that they are abusing themselves with the things we say and think about ourselves. I truly had a hate/hate relationship with myself for most of my life and it was affecting what good and bad things happen in my life. If I couldn’t love myself and praise myself then how could someone else love me? How could the universe provide for me when I couldn’t provide one positive thought for myself? It didn’t and I was suffering more then I ever thought I would in my life.

How could I recover from the years of abuse that I gave myself? I started by reciting affirmations to myself. For those of you who do not know what affirmations are, they are encouraging words that you say to yours
elf over and over, everyday! I started off with “I am loving and loveable” and worked my life around things that I wanted to happen in my life. Over the years, things would happen and I would get away from my affirmations…. then something bad would happen and I would snap back into the reality of how powerful these affirmations are to my well being.

That has recently happened to me, life got ahead of me and I became laxed in my affirmations. As a result, my life became overwhelming, disoriented and began a downward spiral. I found myself yelling at myself for the lack of money coming in, being lazy, being fat and being ugly. That is not how I would let someone else treat me so why was I treating myself like this?

It is easy to fall back into bad habits but it is rewarding to push past those bad habits and start now traditions…. even if it means starting them over again! So the past week, I got a binder out of the school supply cabinet, filled it with lined paper and began writing out affirmations to help me out of my current financial crisis. Everyday, I write out an affirmation that positively affirms that money flows into my life to pay my bills and provide what my family needs. Mind you, affirmations coexist with hard work. The money, love etc that you seek will not just fall into your lap. You still need to map out a plan on how you can get to your goals.

As a server (waitress), my money is reliant on what tips that I make so those affirmations help to bring me higher tips to provide for my family. I saw this happen this past week where I was able to stay later then originally expected and make more money then I had for a goal for the day. If you believe then it will happen, just keep telling yourself those positive affirmations every single day and if you have a negative thought then follow it up with 10 positive thoughts!!

Here is my current list of financial affirmations that I am working with:

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Procastination At Its Finest

procastinationLet’s start the day off with a little laugh at my life as a procastinator because this cartoon is me to a T. I put off until I absolutely have to get something done which is a bad, bad way to live your life especially when you are attempting to change your life but nonetheless my old buddy procastination loves to make his way into my life, on a daily basis.

It has been weeks since I have blogged, not that I haven’t thought about blogging and what I want to blog about but because I kept saying later and then later turned into tomorrow and tomorrow turned into a bunch of tomorrows that turned into a couple of weeks worth of putting of blogging. Of course there was always an excuse for why I sat next to my laptop but didn’t open it just once to blog…. I have to get ready for work, I need work on this crochet project, I need to sleep, I need to eat first or I need coffee first (ok that is a must!). Now none of these is really a legit excuse as to why I couldn’t open the laptop that sits right next to my chair, take 15-20 minutes to type out a blog.

My mother always said “excuses are like assholes, everyone has one” so it is time I put the excuses away and start taking action. Do you see the billionaires in our society procastinating on ways to make themselves more money? Nope every year or every quarter they come up with a new, “It” product to sell us and we fall sucker to purchasing those products. Do you see the bill companies procastinating to send out bills or cut you off? Oh hell no! They have those bills out with deadlines and if WE procastinate then we are shut down or shut off.

So its time to take a tip from the people making the money in this world and stop procastinating and start doing. In the 15 minutes it has taken for me for to write this blog, I feel like I have accomplished more then in the 3 weeks that I procastinated blogging just to work, sleep, eat or create!

 

 

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Healthy Mind Challenge

I thought that the hardest part was getting myself to actually eat healthy but that is not true at all! The harde0e53047c767c12f4efdbbe47e27e052dst part has been to get my mind inline with my body and my desire for a healthy body. I am not going to lie… I fell off the healthy eating wagon more then once this past week.
After I took the last bite of a devil dog or ice cream or pasta, I felt the twinges of remorse and wanting to throw up for what I had just done.

I never really had decided to do a lifestyle change liks this before so mentally I was not prepared. Honestly, I thought I could wing it as I go…. WRONG!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG! You have to plan out your meals and set up a time everyday to exercise or you will fail miserably or at least in the beginning.

I learned after this first week that just winging it was not the right mindset at all because you need that structure to retrain your brain to live and breathe healthy in your life. After a set back, all you can do is pick yourself up,  try again and learn from your mistakes in the future. I definetely need to take the time to plan my meals and exercise for the week or I will fall into the same trap as I did this past week which is endulge the urge and regret it later. Nope lesson learned!